Category Archives: Disappointment

TTC Pitfalls

If you are like most women, when you first decide that you want to get pregnant, you are excited, bubbling with excess energy that in many ways pushes you to think ahead to all the things that come with babies.

Baby Showers, cribs, baby names, diapers, pregnancy-the list could go on and on. Then you make it through the first couple of months and start wondering when it is going to happen. Did I mention the little fact that as soon as you get the go ahead to try, you’ve already begun searching the net; looking for any information out there?

Does this sound familiar?

Thought so. Yes, trying to conceive does come with its pitfalls, or obsessions I should say.

Think Positive

As with any challenge, keeping your eye on the goal is my first little piece of advice-yes, even if you have to remind yourselves fifty times a day. It is worth it! Repeat this as many times as needed. No matter what little phrase you need, find one, it will help. Of course, it does need to be uplifting.

Let yourself Cry

Tears. What are those little pesky things that tend to pop up? Yes, those who are TTC are familiar with the fact that crying comes with the business. Around every cycle, there are always those few days that it is inevitable to sniffle once or twice. That is, unless you got your BFP (Big Fat Positive!)

If so, you can stop reading and start telling us how you did it.

Make your List

That’s right, make that list. What list you ask? You need to decide how you are going to change your life. Yep, it is inevitable, might as well start right from the start. No caffeine, lots of veggies, vitamins, exercise, water, no smoking… the list could go on and on. For each of us, what we need to do to make our life pregnancy ready is different. The key is finding those things that will help your body and making the changes.

Failure

I hate this word but with it comes success. We all will have months that are Positive, but if we can accept this, it will make the journey much easier. So accept the fact that it may not happen overnight. If it does, you are a success story. Enjoy the process, every step, every cycle.

Infertility Myths Uncovered

Infertility Myths Uncovered

The Truth About Infertility

Infertility is that little word no woman wants to hear. It is the inability to conceive. Yikes, I’m already breaking out in sweats. I hate the word infertility because it suggests I can’t get pregnant which isn’t true. Each woman can and should get pregnant. It just takes time to figure out what is wrong and then fix it. Don’t be afraid to study you body because you can control your own destiny.
Infertility Affects Couples Around the World
Trying to conceive is that one topic that gets women talking in the strangest places. Whether you know the other person isn’t really the issue because there is a common bond: infertility. You look at this stranger as if you know them, because you do.You know the struggles, the pain and heartache that comes with infertility. You understand the doctor visits, the monthly crying sessions, and the heartache that comes every time you see a baby. You see, women dealing with infertility understand each other in a way that goes beyond the surface level. These women have endured and survived the most dreary of days and still persevere with the hope that they too will conceive. As every woman works her way through the journey of infertility, she will hear many myths and old wives tales about getting pregnant. You know what I’m talking about. You are talking to one woman, before you know it, there are five women surrounding you telling you the “best fertility tips” on getting pregnant. Do they work or are they just myths?
Acupuncture
Acupuncture has been used since the 1600s. Because there isn’t definite proof that it works, the question is whether it can and does help women trying to conceive. Each acupuncture treatment can last months but many women have seen positive results. I absolutely believe that acupuncture can assist when dealing with infertility.
Infertility Questions and Answers: A woman can only get pregnant one day in the cycle: Because the sperm can live up to 4-6 days, a woman can actually get pregnant up to 4-6 days prior to ovulation. This means you don’t want to just focus on the ovulation day when trying to conceive. Start trying at least 4-6 days before ovulation for best results. I like 6 days because it means more days of “love.”
Women ovulate more than once during cycle: Totally untrue. Women will only ovulate once during their cycle so you better make each cycle count! You can have more than one egg release but you only ovulate once. If it happens more than once, I want to know the hows’s and why’s, cause I want what ever you take. Lol
Women ovulate on the same day every month: Totally untrue. I mean, it can happen if your hormones are completely balanced, but it might not happen that way. Don’t we all wish it happened on the same day to make life easier? But it doesn’t so you better track your ovulation through an OV watch or some type of ovulation predictor. I usually get within 2 days every month.
Infertility isn’t a concern for older wome: Totally untrue. Times have changed and women are getting pregnant in their early and late 30 and 40’s. Remember when your mom said she wanted to have another baby and you were grossed out. Come on, mom, your in your late 30’s. Life has certainly changed. The truth is that fertility really begins to decline in your 20’s so by the time you’ve hit your prime, infertility could be an issue. This means women of all ages are concerned about infertility, whether you are younger or more in your prime.
Maybe you should adopt since you can’t get pregnant: This myth is totally unfounded. Every woman can and should get pregnant. When something is prohibiting the couple from conceiving, it’s time to start ruling out issues. Take a wide approach at your body and began to study you body to know what is healthy, what is struggling, and what you can improve. Fertility foods can be used to keep your body healthy and promote fertility. Don’t be afraid to change your lifestyle as you prepare for conception. These changes will help you keep your chin up on those dark days to remind you that you are taking control of your own destiny: your fertility.
Stop trying and you’ll get pregnant: This is a myth. For some women, this might have been the very thing that helped them get pregnant. Is it scientific or just nature having her way? There is no real answer. What we do know is if you take control of your fertility and really take care of your body and find the reason for infertility, you can raise your chances of getting pregnant. Whether you take a break or not, isn’t really the issue. For me, I’ve taken breaks more for myself than anything else. If you stop trying to get pregnant, make it about you and not the infertility. When you start back up, you will be rejuvenated and ready to start again! When you dive in to everything fertility, make sure to start eating Fertility Foods.
Infertility is about the women: This is a myth. Men can be affected by infertility just like women. That’s why both the man and woman should be tested.
Your doing something wrong: Infertility is a medical issue and doesn’t have anything to do with a sexual issue or disorder. If you are consistently trying to get pregnant, without success, begin studying your body to know what is healthy and what needs extra boosts of fertility foods and fertility vitamins. You might also think about going to a infertility specialist in your area.
Stay Positive: No matter how long you’ve tried to get pregnant, you’ve faced the uncertainties that come with infertility. Don’t be afraid to be emotional as emotions will be apart of this process. Stay connected with friends and family so you always know you aren’t alone. Most of all, remember that you and your spouse are in this together. Stress from infertility can become unbearable. Communicate and never go to bed angry. This has helped my husband and I throughout the infertility process and I’m sure it will help you as well!

Confessions of a Woman Struggling with Infertility

Infertility Stinks!

We hear of people struggling with infertility all the time. They can’t get pregnant. They’ve tried without success to have a baby. Maybe they just got married and thought pregnancy would naturally happen. When it didn’t, worry sets in. Sound familiar? Maybe you’ve been married for years and just decided the time was right. Only when you start trying, nothing happened. Or maybe you’ve been trying for years without success.Did you know that infertility dates back to the Bible with stories such as Hannah, Sarah, Elizabeth, and Rachel? These stories are reminders to each one struggling with infertility that they aren’t alone. Only women struggling with infertility know how alone it feels. That deep grief that won’t go away.

Learning to cope with infertility doesn’t happen overnight. It is a daily, hourly, and sometimes down to the minute before we can actually take a breath and breathe. Only someone who’s gone through the inability to conceive can possibly understand what this is like. Oh, I know, people think they understand, but you can’t. It simply isn’t possible.

Confessions from someone who knows…

Pregnant Women

They are everywhere. You know what I mean. Everywhere you turn there is a pregnant woman. They seem to be following us everywhere we go. They can’t understand that deep hollow we feel in the pit of our stomachs every time we see them.

The Timing isn’t right.

Ever heard that one? Or maybe something like this, “You just have to be patient.” Oh, how those words are a thorn to every woman struggling with infertility. Of course, we know to be patient. But then again, do you struggle with infertility? If not, don’t tell us about being patient because we could rewrite the definition of the word.

Babies, Babies, Babies

Where do all these babies come from? No matter how far we try to walk in the opposite direction, everyone we know seems to be getting pregnant. Could people please stop getting pregnant? “Thank you,” I say with relief.

If you just stop trying, you’ll get pregnant

Oh, how many times I’ve heard this. Don’t you think we’ve stopped trying just to see if this would work? Yeah, it doesn’t work. Thanks for your thoughts, but until you’ve experienced infertility; can you keep your unwanted wisdom to yourself?

Relax, you just need to relax!

Ever heard this one? If only we hadn’t thought of this. If it was just as simple as relaxing. As if a woman dealing with infertility hasn’t already researched ever possible method of getting pregnant and little did we know we just needed to relax.

Adoption is Your Answer!

This is one statement that is frequently said to couple struggling with infertility. As if we haven’t given adoption a serious consideration. Maybe you should consider the fact that we might not want to adopt, we want our own child. Or maybe we can’t afford to adopt. There could be many reasons why we haven’t adopted and none of them are because we haven’t considered the option of adopting.

Adoption for many is a last result that is an option that is possible. Even for these, the grief of not being able to conceive is a process that can only take time. Adoption is an option only the couple can decide if this choice is right for them.

You’re still Young!

I’m not that young and you don’t have a clue how, when, or if it will happen. Why are you giving me advice? Too many people think they are helping when they really don’t know what they are talking about. On subjects of infertility, people should understand that if we wanted to talk about it, we would.

Have you tried…?

This is the worst because people are assuming you haven’t already tried every possible method. Women struggling with infertility have done it all… and I mean all! The very question evokes frustration as we immediately think of every crazy thing we’ve ever done to get pregnant. Of course we tried… whatever you were going to suggest!

Each of us could list our own list of statements not to say to a woman dealing with infertility. The truth is that we know all too well the grief of not being able to conceive. We try crazy methods hoping that will be the one thing that gives that beautiful baby.

I hope that someone reads this and recognizes how desperately infertile women need others to have a little class when speaking to them. Think before you speak. Remember that not everyone can have children by snapping their fingers. Know that if she’s infertile, she’s tried everything. She is a pro at trying innovative positions to better help that little baby be created.

So thank you! Thank you for all your advice that you throw our way. Thank you for those seemingly helpful words of comfort you gave at the worst possible moments. May you remember when you’ve waited for something for years that hurt, grief, and frustration that we feel every day. Maybe then, you would understand what it is like to really struggle to conceive.